St. Valentine

It is St. Valentine's Day on the 14th February. Saint Valentine, according to romantic legend, was a kind-hearted Roman priest who married young couples against the wishes of Emperor Claudius II, and was beheaded for his deeds on the 14th of February.

It is believed that the custom started in France and England in the middle ages because it was believed that half way through the second month was when the birds started to pair.

For this reason it is also thought to be a good time to send love letters, cards and presents.

In Wales wooden love spoons were carved and given as gifts on February 14th. Hearts, keys and keyholes were favourite decorations on the spoons. The decoration meant, "You unlock my heart!"

Why not try designing your own love spoon for St. Valentine's Day. They were always carved out of one piece of wood, and the symbols had special meanings for the couple.

One for the teachers - The boots

A teacher was helping one of her reception students put on his boots. He asked her for help and she could see why. Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on. By the time they got the second boot on, she had worked up a sweat.

She almost cried when the little boy said,"Teacher, they're on the wrong feet. "She looked, and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as, together, they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the right feet.

He then announced, "These aren't my boots."

She bit her tongue, rather than screaming, "Why didn't you say so?"

Once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet. No sooner had they gotten the boots off when he said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear 'em."

Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry. But she mustered up what grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again. Helping him into his coat, she asked, "Now, where are your mittens?"

"I stuffed them in the toes of my boots", he said!

Jokes for Jessica

I am not very good at remembering jokes, and Jessica keeps telling me hers, so here are some I found on the Internet.

Q. Why won't banks allow kangaroos to open accounts?
A. Their checks always bounce.

Q. How does a mouse feels after it takes a bath?
A. Squeaky Clean.

Q. What kind of horse makes you wake up scared?
A. A nightmare.

Q. What do you get when you cross a sheep with kung fu?
A. Lamb chops.

Q. Where did the sheep go after high school?
A. To the ewe-niversity.

Q. What do you call a go-go dancing pig?
A. Shakin' bacon.

Q. What do you get when you cross a flea with a rabbit?
A. A bugs bunny.

Q. What do you get if you cross a Jedi knight with a toad?
A. Star Warts.

Q. What goes zzub, zzub, zzub?
A. A bee flying backwards. (zzub is 'buzz' backwards)

Q. Why is six afraid of seven?
A. Because seven eight nine.

Mrs Santa Claus wanted a divorce. The judge asked her to explain why.
"Judge, it's that happy jolly stuff all year long," she said. "It drives me CRAZY!"
"All year? Why I thought Santa's work was only in the winter." said the judge.
"Yes, but in summer he takes up gardening," Mrs Claus replied, and then...it's hoe, hoe, hoe, all over again!"