Jokes for Jessica

I am not very good at remembering jokes, and Jessica keeps telling me hers, so here are some I found on the Internet.

Q. Why won't banks allow kangaroos to open accounts?
A. Their checks always bounce.

Q. How does a mouse feels after it takes a bath?
A. Squeaky Clean.

Q. What kind of horse makes you wake up scared?
A. A nightmare.

Q. What do you get when you cross a sheep with kung fu?
A. Lamb chops.

Q. Where did the sheep go after high school?
A. To the ewe-niversity.

Q. What do you call a go-go dancing pig?
A. Shakin' bacon.

Q. What do you get when you cross a flea with a rabbit?
A. A bugs bunny.

Q. What do you get if you cross a Jedi knight with a toad?
A. Star Warts.

Q. What goes zzub, zzub, zzub?
A. A bee flying backwards. (zzub is 'buzz' backwards)

Q. Why is six afraid of seven?
A. Because seven eight nine.

Mrs Santa Claus wanted a divorce. The judge asked her to explain why.
"Judge, it's that happy jolly stuff all year long," she said. "It drives me CRAZY!"
"All year? Why I thought Santa's work was only in the winter." said the judge.
"Yes, but in summer he takes up gardening," Mrs Claus replied, and then...it's hoe, hoe, hoe, all over again!"